Teen Breathe

Me and my thoughts

Have you ever felt like you can’t hear yourself think? Often there’s so much going on – with family, friends, teachers, social media all having a say – it can be overwhelming. One way to get back to yourself is to keep a diary. It can help you to discover what you, and only you, think and feel
WORDS: Mary Wessel
ILLUSTRATION: Stephanie Ginger

It’s just for you

When you first start writing, you might feel a bit self-conscious or think that what you’ve written is silly or embarrassing. You might want to write brilliantly, or only include things that make you sound good – in case someone in the future reads it. Or you might want to emulate your favourite author, and use words and phrases that they’d use.

But doing that won’t help you to understand yourself better. The trick is to be honest, and to write your thoughts and feelings exactly how they are. You’re trying to get the voice that’s inside your head out onto the page, and that can be harder than you think.

It might take a while for you to start trusting your inner voice and not overthinking what you’re writing. But practise, go steady and be kind to yourself. Whatever you write is just right!

When, where and what?

Your diary is all yours, so write in it at the times that work best for you. If you write in the morning it can be a good way to set you up for the day. Or if you write in the evenings, it can help you to reflect on what’s happened. Experiment with it, and see what you prefer.

Sometimes it can be great to just write anything and everything that pops into your head. But if there’s something coming up that you’re worried about – or excited about – you might want to be a bit more structured and ask yourself some questions. Those questions might be:

  • What do I feel about the event?
  • Why do I feel that way?
  • Have I felt this way before?
  • What’s helped me in the past?
  • What have I learned from this that might
  • help me in the future?

Try and dig into your feelings and emotions. It can be really powerful to just name and acknowledge them all – even those you don’t like feeling, or think you shouldn’t have.

You could even try the same exercise about the same event a couple of days running. You might be surprised at how quickly your feelings towards something can change. And understanding that thoughts and feelings often don’t stay the same can be a good thing to remember when life feels tough.

It’s not about the way it looks

Don’t worry if your diary looks messy. Just getting your thoughts and feelings out on the page is what it’s all about. You don’t have to hand this in to be marked. This is for you.

And the way you handwrite might look different day to day. If you feel furious, you might just want to scribble with a thick, heavy pen. Other days, you might find yourself writing using bright, colourful ink. Just go with what feels right. You might even want to try writing in the hand you don’t usually use, as this is thought to help you access different levels of thoughts and feelings.

Or do you hate handwriting, but type like a ninja? In that case, think about keeping a digital diary instead.

Keep out!

Keeping a diary is personal – it’s between you and your notebook. But if you’re worried that others will be tempted to take a peak, here are a few ways to keep your writing private

  • Ask people not to read it. If you feel able to, you might want to explain that your diary is a place for you to get to understand yourself better, and to do that you need it to be private.
  • Don’t draw attention to it. Even if your diary has a beautiful cover, don’t leave it lying around on the kitchen table. Keep it somewhere safe and out of sight. And don’t take it into school!
  • Use a lock or password. Lots of diaries come with a lock and key. Or if you keep a digital diary, use a strong password, update that password regularly – and don’t forget what it is!
  • Use abbreviations or code words. This is helpful for people’s names. Especially if you’re writing about feeling angry or upset with them.
  • Make a fake cover. What’s more tempting to read: a notebook with ‘PRIVATE’ written on the front or a maths book? Exactly. Make it look boring or use a fake cover, maybe from one of your favourite books.