Our friends are some of the most important people in our lives. They’re the ones who lift us up when we’re down, celebrate our successes and help us make sense of the world. Spending time with friends should leave us feeling like we belong and bring out the best in us. Friendships offer a support system, a source of fun and laughter and a shoulder to lean on when times get tough. In many ways, friends are the family we choose.
But staying connected with friends isn’t always easy. Relationships shift and change all the time, and there are different types of friendship. Sometimes, if they’re based on a common interest such as a sport or a particular class you’re in together, they might only exist in that space.
Friendship groups can also change, meaning you might drift apart from those you enjoyed spending time with. But whatever the situation, from a special greeting to a regular style swap, there are lots of small, simple things you can do to strengthen those bonds, keep you in touch with each other and make seeing your friends even more fun. These are known as friendship rituals.
What is a friendship ritual?
A friendship ritual is a small, meaningful activity that’s unique to your relationship with a friend or group of friends. It’s a simple action that helps you feel connected in the moment, while also creating memories that last. These rituals don’t need to be extravagant or formal; they’re just fun, thoughtful ways to remind each other how much you care – sometimes without even needing words. Here are some of our favourites…
Secret handshake
A classic ritual that never goes out of style, secret handshakes are a playful way to greet your friends. Whether it’s a fist bump, a high five or an impressive series of claps and moves only the two of you know, secret handshakes create a sense of togetherness and belonging.
Write letters to each other
In a world dominated by text messages and emails, receiving a handwritten letter can feel extra special. Whether you’re sharing an update about your life or writing a heartfelt note about why your friend means so much to you, a letter shows you’ve taken the time to think of them and receiving one can be a wonderful surprise.
Have a monthly meet-up
Spending time with friends at school or during activities can be fun, but it doesn’t always allow for meaningful conversation and connectivity. Scheduling a regular meet-up can help carve out quality time with your closest friends. It could be weekly or monthly and anything you both enjoy – baking some goodies, a movie night, trying a new cafe or just a cosy time playing board games (and munching snacks!).
Craft a care box
If a close friend’s moved to another school or neighbourhood, or even just changed classes so you see them less, making each other a care box can be a great way to stay connected. The box can be homemade and small and what you pack inside doesn’t need to be expensive – a card you’ve made, a photo, a lip scrub or bath bomb, a friendship bracelet, a great book you’ve read. Anything that will put a smile on their face.
Weekly style swap
Meet up at the weekend and swap one item of clothing – a jumper, a scarf, a T-shirt – or perhaps a fun bag. Have fun styling each other if you like, and return whatever you borrow the following week. Just make sure you look after it!
Memory jar
Memories are precious, but it’s easy to let joyful moments fade over time. A memory jar is a creative way to keep track of all the fun you’ve had with your friends. Each time something memorable happens, like an inside joke, a great day out or a moment you want to remember, write it down on a slip of paper and add it to the jar. You could even draw little pictures or add mementos. Over time, the jar will fill with reminders of your friendship. Revisiting the jar together is a great way to reflect on the good times and appreciate each other even more.
Compliment circle
Spending time with friends should leave you feeling uplifted, which is the aim of a compliment circle. This isn’t about comparing or rating each other – it’s about recognising and celebrating the qualities that each of you bring. Sit in a circle and have something to hold that can be passed around, like a crystal, a stone or a candle. Whoever holds it shares one positive thing they love about another, whether it’s a kind gesture, a personality trait or a hidden talent. Compliment circles can help boost self-esteem and strengthen bonds, while also making it easier to give and receive kindness with confidence.
Rituals don’t need to be big or complicated to make an impact. Sometimes, it’s the little things, such as a shared smile, a silly joke or a handwritten note that mean the most. By creating and practising these rituals, you can help to make your friendships stronger, more meaningful and filled with moments to be remembered.