Have you ever had a silly argument with your best friend? One of those simple misunderstandings that blows up into a huge deal. Did you end up feeling tense and stressed even after you’d made up?
It doesn’t have to be an argument. It could be any situation where you felt stressed long after the situation was over. If you’ve ever felt like that, you might have been stuck in a stress cycle.
Stress vs stressor
To understand the stress cycle, it’s really important to understand the difference between a stressor and stress. A stressor is something that kickstarts the stress response in your body. It could be an outside stressor, like a family drama or exam worries. Or it could be an inside stressor, such as body image or self-criticism. Meanwhile, stress is your body’s mental and physical reaction to a stressor. This stress reaction could show itself in all sorts of ways, such as a tight chest, trouble sleeping or feeling anxious in your stomach.
When faced with a stressful situation, a common reaction is to try to deal with the stressor – the thing causing the stress. But even if you deal with a stressor, it doesn’t mean you’ve dealt with the stress, which means your body might hold onto it. There’s also the fact that some stressors in life don’t have an easy fix.
The good news is you can ease the stress, even if you can’t fix the stressor. How? By completing the stress cycle.
What is a stress cycle?
Many experts view stress as a biological cycle that has a beginning, middle and end. Obviously, different people respond to stress in different ways, but in general, the stress cycle has three stages:
The first stage is where you notice the threat. For example, you remember you’ve got a big test coming up tomorrow that you haven’t prepped for.
In the second stage, the stress hormones called adrenaline and cortisol kick in. This phase is often known as ‘fight-or-flight’. So, here you might decide to spend your night studying hard (fight response) or bury your head under the duvet and pretend it’s not happening (flight response).
And the final stage is relief. Here, your body feels mental and physical relief from knowing the ‘threat’ is over. In this example, you might feel relief when you go to bed ready for your test, or the next day when the test is over. This completes the cycle.
Sounds simple, right? The problem is, many people find themselves stuck in phase two: fight-or-flight. This might be because the stressor doesn’t have an easy fix. Or perhaps the stressor has gone, but you never get that feeling of relief.
An unfinished cycle
The ‘silly argument’ example from earlier is a perfect illustration of being stuck in stress mode, because even though you made up, your body doesn’t understand that the stressful thing is over. This means your body doesn’t have a chance to recover from the stress, and this can make you hyper-sensitive to other stressful situations.
But let’s say you’d gone for a cry in the toilet after your argument instead, or gone home and danced off your frustration. Then your body would have understood that the stressful thing has passed, which ends the cycle.
So the next time you’re faced with a stressful situation, remember you may or may not be able to solve the stressor, but you can solve the stress itself. You can complete your stress cycle.
7 ways to close your stress cycle
Next time you feel stressed, try doing one or more of these things to tell your body the stressful event has passed
Quick fixes
- Breathe. Take several deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth.
- Ask for a hug. A 20-second hug has been shown to release oxytocin (nicknamed the ‘love hormone’). If a hug isn’t an option, cuddle a pet or message a compliment to your bestie.
- Cry it out. If you were ever told ‘crying doesn’t help’, think again. While crying may not resolve the stressor, it can close the stress cycle.
- Have a good belly laugh. Just like crying, a proper laugh can complete the stress cycle.
If you have more time
- Do something physical. The stress response is nature’s evolutionary way of preparing your body to run, so give it what it wants. Run, dance, skip, or do whatever works for you.
- Get creative. Make something, write something or even work on a puzzle – whatever gives you the feeling of being totally absorbed in something enjoyable.
- Sleep or nap. And if you find sleeping is tough, try to just rest for a while.